Like Seaweed
Mark K June 9th, 2007
What do seaweed and parenting have in common?
My friend Anthony explains it like this: “It’s like seaweed growing on the ocean floor right before the place where the waves break. The waves come in and the seaweed bends and sways toward the shore. The water recedes and the seaweed bends back the other way.” He goes on to explain, “My boys have all kinds of unusual interests and hobbies - horror movies, comic books, you name it. I try to get them interested in the things I like and sometimes they won’t go for it. I decided to act like the seaweed - the waves come in and I bend a bit, I agree to go to a comic book convention or read my son’s script for the next great Frankenstein movie. Before I know it, I’m actually enjoying their activities and they’re much more willing to come along with me when I suggest a ‘boring’ camping trip.”
At first I chuckled a bit about this theory, but when I shared it with my son Joe, he understood the metaphor right away. He’s passionate about playing his favorite computer game and my wife and I have struggled for years to break him of what seemed like an addiction and were constantly trying to get him to venture outside of his comfort zone - travel to Mexico, take a backpacking trip, get more involved in sports. What would happen, I asked him, if we applied the seaweed theory to this situation?
He liked the idea! He didn’t like the notion of any kind of quantifiable one-to-one tradeoff -two hours of computer playing by Dad equals a two-night backpacking trip. He was also suspicious of lip service - Dad trying the game a couple of times but not really buying into the experience.
Surprisingly, he rejected my offer that he could fill his end of the bargain by doing some adventures with friends, rather than me. He felt that this would be contrary to the true spirit of the Seaweed Theory!
More surprising still, my wife agreed that the theory was worth trying.
So, we have struck a deal. I am now playing his game and have given my character the name Piso Mojado (Spanish for wet floor) which I, and probably no teenager on the planet, think is exceedingly clever. Joe is amused by my clumsy efforts to play - my typing skills are great for typing words, but terrible for manipulating virtual characters and I keep getting eaten by some fiendish looking wild dogs. He is also very puzzled when I suggest that my character might just do a little hiking and exploring rather than bringing the head of the enemy chief back to our leader!
I guess you could call this the “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” theory of childrearing as well. My son only has two more years left in high school, so if this is a way to spend more time together, it’s worth a try.
Piso Mojado is now on level 3 (Joe’s character is on level 70), but I’m ready to face those pesky dogs again. No plans for a backpacking trip yet, but I’ll keep you informed.
Who will join me in trying out the Seaweed Theory of Parenting with their chlidren this summer? It may not be Dr. Spock approved, but I think it’s worth a try.
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