Comments on: Real men read books

By: chuck

chuck — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 16:44:19 +0000

Is the book group still meeting? Any openings for new members?

By: John Racanelli

John Racanelli — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 06:45:28 +0000

Mark,

This essay captures perfectly the sense of purpose I get from being a Men Who Pause man. In spite of several long-ish books that now reside on my bookshelf with unbent spines, I really HAVE read a dozen good books in the past 14-15 months, and engaged in many lively discussions about them. (And a lot of other things. All without ice packs or swagger. Not even much beer.)

Very interesting to read about Mary Thompson’s experiment with her group yonder in the Northlands… Wonder what our spouses would think of joining us for dinner and discussion? Wonder if our spouses could even get away to do so?

I’ll go on wondering. You go on writing like this and we’ll be reading your works in Salon and Narrative and Zyzzyva (or whatever it’s called). As Jack said, “Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind”. Uh-huh.

See you on the Camino.

By: Gene McGinnis

Gene McGinnis — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:57:52 +0000

Mark,

Thanks, you do right by all men by continuing to insist that they can gather together for intelligent, compassionate conversation because they like one another’s company, not because they’re looking for one more excuse to compare and compete.

By: Mary Reynolds Thompson

Mary Reynolds Thompson — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:05:10 +0000

I loved your Redroom story. It prompted this memory.
Despite being an avid reader, the only book club I’ve ever been a part of was the one I joined when I lived in Sandpoint, Idaho, way up by the Canadian border. It was a women’s group, but once a year around Christmas, we’d invite the husbands to join in. Hence, a manly book was chosen: The General’s Daughter by Nelson de Milne. For those of you lucky enough to have escaped this tawdry tale, it had to do with sado-masochism and the murder of a young woman on a testosterone pumped army base. So when I sat down with a group of Idahoans that included a quaker couple, a church-going realtor, and a couple of monosyllabic males, I had no idea what to expect.
After one man blathered on for twenty minutes on how the book clearly proved that women weren’t suited to the military (I almost had to tie myself to the chair on that one), I decided to change the subject. “What about the sado-masochistic tendencies in the book?”I asked sweetly. Silence. Then from the quaker women with white hair and the face of an old-fashioned school teacher, “Oh, I wouldn’t mind being tied up during sex. That’s if Henry was game.”
Henry, looking like a blushing teenager, and clearly wanting to be obliging, answered that if it was alright with her it was alright with him.
Silence ensued. And then, from one of the mono-syllabic husbands. “You were right honey, I should have read the damn book after all.”

By: Susan Alcorn

Susan Alcorn — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:01:08 +0000

Hi Mark,
I’ve already joined Redroom though I haven’t done anything with it yet. I just went and read your essay–which I enjoyed. Your men’s group is a worthwhile experiment.

I’ve been to only a few book discussions in my lifetime, but I must say, each experience has added greatly to my understanding of what I had read. (You mean “Animal Farm” isn’t about animals and farms? And it’s fun! I imagine that there are plenty of women’s groups that have had problems getting off the ground, too. Or the leader, who was the cohesive factor, moves, dies, etc. and the group falls apart.

Sounds like you have already had some “quality” time with the other men and clearly mattered to you more than the number of pages read, etc. A perfect example of “Pause for Purpose!”
Susan Alcorn