The Sound of One Leg Kicking
Mark K February 1st, 2008
It’s funny how, when you pay attention, the stories are almost written for you.
In recent years, I have struggled with what answer to give when people ask me, “So, what do you do?”
A few days ago, I was describing my job duties at our restaurant to a new acquaintance, who had grown up in China. When I told her that I did a little of this and a little of that - bread baking, bookkeeping, repairs, she said, “Oh, you’re a “yee jaio tee.”
“Excuse me?”
“A jee jaio tee. That’s Mandarin for one leg kicking.”
Immediately, my mind started racing. I had only just met this woman, but was it possible that she had witnessed me trying to repair something? I would say that my abilities to repair things are just about as graceful and effective as a one-legged man trying to kick something. But no, she hadn’t said that the kicker had only one leg. What did the expression mean?
She explained that it’s a Mandarin expression for a jack-of-all-trades - someone who takes care of everything under the sun, at work or at home. If something needs to be kicked, there is one leg that does all of the kicking!
Two days later, I came upon a former employee of ours in a grocery store parking lot, attempting to change a flat tire. I tried to help him, but the two of us were unable to loosen the last lug nut (one-legged kicker kicks and misses!).
We started to chat while he waited for the AAA truck to arrive and I told him that my new duties at the restaurant included bread-baking.
Phil, a former line-cook and current legal assistant is a very cerebral guy and the only person I know who wears a tam-o-shanter. He immediately replied, “Oh, you’re a dog’s body.”
“Dog’s buddy?” I replied, hearing him incorrectly. Had he noticed the dog hairs all over my clothes? Was he making a point - my wife works like a dog and I have the role of the dog’s buddy, doing little of productive value? What did he mean by this?
“No, not a dog’s buddy,” he explained. “A dog’s body. It’s a medieval expression that means a jack-of-all trades.”
Now this is too strange to be true. What are the odds that, after years of searching for an answer to give to people about what I do, two expressions were offered to me in the space of two days, one coming from Manderin and the other from medieval English? Of course, I hadn’t been able to find an appropriate answer, I didn’t have the right dictionary!
So now, I’ve decided to use one of my own unique answers to the question and combine it with my new-found knowledge. If you meet me for the first time, the conversation might go something like this:
You: “So what do you do, Mark?”
Me: “Oh, I’m a one-leg kicking mystic.”
You: “A what??????”
Me: “It’s kind of like an existential dog’s body.”
You: “Okay?…………………………… Nice weather we’re having, huh?”
